Love and Vampires
by ToRcHwOoD14
Summary: Rose is pregnant while Vampires stalk the Streets of Cardiff for blood. Doctor/Rose/, Jack/Ianto, Master/OC, contains Slash. Don't like, Don't read! This is my first Fic so be nice.
1. Chapter One

Prologue:

The full Moon shone from behind a Cloud as the terrified young Woman ran down the darkened Alley, she could hear the Creature behind, gaining on her. Her pounding Footsteps echoed in the high Walls, the Creature's Footsteps were almost silent, only it's hot panting Breath gave it away.

She screamed as the Creature finally pounced but no one was around to hear.

The Creature finished it's Meal and walked away silently, licking Blood from it's Jaw.

Cardiff slept.

_Next Day._

"Hey, Rose," the Docter smiled. "You look perky this Morning."

Rose smiled, she had found out that she was pregnant two weeks ago but hadn't told him yet. She wanted it to be a special surprise and was waiting for the right time.

It was showing though, her Skin was radiant and glowing.

The Doctor pulled her towards him and gave her a big Kiss.

"Breakfast?" He asked.

"Two slices of Toast with scrambled Eggs and half a Grapefruit, please," said Rose. "Also a Glass of Orange juice and Tea with Milk and one Sugar."

"Just one, you normally have at least three Sugars," the Doctor teased.

"I've decided to cut down," Rose explained. (A/N. For the baby's health.)

After breakfast the Doctor loaded the Dishwasher while Rose went to have a Bath and get dressed. She wore black Jeans with a white studded Belt, white Trainers with blue Stripes down the Sides and pink Laces and her favourite T-Shirt which was red with a Picture of her favourite Anime character, Sailor Mars on the front. She added the silver Necklace the Doctor had bought her from Egypt which had a blue Scrab Beetle Pendant hanging from it and the gold Bracelet with her Name on that her Mum had bought her for her eleventh Birthday. She pulled her hair back into a Ponytail and held it in place with a blue Scrunchie and added two Hairgrips shaped like Dragonflies which sparkled in the Sun.

"What shall we do today?" The Doctor asked as Rose re-entered the Kitchen.

"Let's go to the Park," suggested Rose. "We could feed the Animals."

_Later. _

The Doctor and Rose sat on the Grass in the Park eating Chocolate and Vanilla Ice-Cream and watching some Squirrels fight over Acorns. Rose broke off a piece of her Ice-Cream Cone and threw it to the Squirrels. A Squirrel picked it up in his Mouth and ran away to eat it behind a Tree, making Rose smile.

"They're cute, aren't they?" The Doctor said.

"Squirrels?" said Rose. "Yes, they are."

The Doctor finished his Ice-Cream and laid back on the Grass.

"Looks like it's going to Rain soon," he mentioned.

"Hope not," grinned Rose.

It started raining as they were leaving the Park, the Doctor took off his Jacket and gave it to Rose as they ran for Shelter.

They reached a Cafe and ordered two teas, while they sat by the Window and watched the Rain come down. Rose was careful to put only one Sugar in her Tea.

"You know you look really good recently," the Doctor told Rose.

"Thanks," smiled Rose.

She felt good, she had her Doctor and a baby on the way. What could ever possibly go wrong?

_That Evening._

The Doctor leapt in through the Door as Rose was cooking Dinner. She was making Shephard's Pie, which was the Doctor's favourite.

"Surprise," he grinned and presented Rose with a huge Bouquet of red Roses.

(A/N. Roses because it's her name, see?)

Rose gave him a big Kiss and went to put the Roses in Water.

The Doctor put his Finger in the Pie and licked it. "Yum," he smiled.

"Hey, hands out the pie," tutted Rose.

The Doctor began to set the Table as Rose dished out the Pie.

"Hey, we should go and see Jack," she suggested over Dinner. "We've not seen him for ages."

"Good Idea," the Doctor agreed. "We'll go and visit him Tomorrow."

**Hope you liked the first Chapter, I'm working on the second one now (Jack and Ianto are in it). The more Reviews I get, the faster I'll write. :)**


	2. Chapter Two

**DISCLAIMER: I do not own Doctor Who or Anyone in it, except Crysta.**

**Thanks to Everyone who read the last Chapter. Here is the Second Chapter.**

The Master sat on his Throne in his Castle and watched the big Screen mounted on the Wall while his Girlfriend sat on a pile of Cushions near his Feet, eating a bunch of Grapes.

Her name was Crysta Ebony Moonshine and she was a Vampire. Her hair was blonde with deep red Highlights, one of her Eyes was crystal blue, the other was green like a deep Lake.

She wore a tight red Leather Outfit with black Thigh-high stiletto Boots and a Necklace made of Gold with a Gem of unknown origin. She giggled at the scene on the Master's screen.

On-Screen, Jack was sitting at his Desk while Ianto perched on the Edge of it.

"So, how many do we have so far," Ianto was asking.

"That's five this Month alone," Jack replied.

"And two last Month?" Ianto checked.

"Yep," Jack nodded. "Weird, huh? Eight Victims in six Weeks, no Serial Killer's usually that fast."

"Vampires, you Fool," the Master bellowed at the Screen. "Honestly, how thick are these People?" he asked Crysta who giggled happily.

"Should I go and surprise them, Master?" she suggested.

"Sure. Have fun, darling," the Master smirked and helped himself to some Grapes.

_Later._

Jack and Ianto were curled up in Bed about to fall asleep when they were startled by a Sound from the Office.

"What was that?" Ianto whispered, scared.

"I don't know," Jack replied. "I'll go and see, you stay here where it's safe."

He climbed out of Bed and took his Gun out of the Drawer, then silently sneaked to the Office where he suddendly turned the light on.

"Freeze," he shouted, pointing the Gun into the Room. But no one was there.

Crysta giggled from underneath the Desk. Jack went to check the next Room and she shot out of her Hiding Place too quickly and silently for him to notice her.

"That you, Jack?" murmered a sleepy Ianto from the Bed.

"No," sniggered Crysta.

"Who are you?" Ianto screamed.

"The Killer you're looking for," Crysta told him. "One of them anyway."

She pounced onto the Bed and sat astride Ianto so he couldn't move. "Don't scream or I'll kill you," she warned.

"Jack, help!" Ianto thought but didn't say anything aloud.

Crysta stroked his Face with a long, sharp Fingernail painted red. "What should I do with you?" she asked. "Should I kill you or eat you or turn you into one of us and keep you forever?"

"You can get off of him," shouted Jack from the Doorway and fired his Gun.

The Bullet hit Crysta in the Middle of the Chest and knocked her backwards off the Bed but didn't do anything else. (A/N. Because it's not a Wooden Stake.)

"Hello. Jack, isn't it?" smiled Crysta.

"Yeah, who are you?" Jack demanded.

"I'm a Vampire, dearie," Crysta explained and showed her Fangs as Proof.

"Get out," Jack yelled.

"Okay," Crysta sniggered. "I'll go for now but you'll see me again."

She leapt off the Floor and straight for the Window at Super-Speed, smashing through the Glass and flying off into the Night.

"Are you okay, darling?" Jack asked.

"I'm fine, she didn't bite me," Ianto said, white and shaking.

Jack sat down on the Bed and hugged him until he felt better. Then they cleaned up the Broken Glass before going to the Office to sleep in there instead.

_The Next Day._

"Hello, everyone," the Doctor shouted happily as he leapt into the Office. "Not seen you for ages, Jack." He gave Jack and friendly hug and kiss on the Cheek. "How've you been?"

"Hello," he added, turning to Ianto. "I don't think we've met."

"This is my Boyfriend, Ianto Jones," explained Jack. "Good to see you again, Doctor. Where's Rose?"

"Here I am," said Rose appearing behind Jack with a large Homemade Cake. "I made you a Cake."

"Awww, thanks. That's so nice of you," smiled Jack and hugged her. "Shall I make some Tea?"

The Cake was three Layers with Buttercream and Jam in between topped with pink Icing.

"This looks great," said Ianto.

"She's a great Cook," the Doctor smiled. Rose looked proud.

Over Tea, Jack and Ianto told the Doctor and Rose all about the Vampires.

"Look what we got this Morning," Jack told them and pulled open a Drawer in his Desk to show Bottles of Holy Water, Garlic and Wooden Stakes. "We're all prepared in case they turn up again."

"Want us to stick around and help?" The Doctor asked.

"That'd be great," Jack grinned. "Hey, it'd be just like old Times."

"Hey, Look. It's the Doctor," The Master pointed out on his Screen. "Where did he come from?"

"I like him," smiled Crysta. "And who's the Blonde?"

"That's Rose Tyler, she's an interfering little Brat," the Master scowled.

"Let's kill them all, then. We could all break in together when they're least expecting it, they won't stand a Chance, Crysta suggested.

The Master smiled and stroked her Hair. "Great Idea, darling."

Crysta pounced on him and they had sex on the pile of cushions.

**End of Chapter Two. I want some Reviews before I post Chapter Three.**


	3. Chapter Three

**DISCLAIMER: I do not own Doctor Who or Anyone in it, except Crysta.**

**Thanks to Everyone who read the last Chapter. Here is the Third Chapter, please Review this time. I want more Reviews!!!**

Jack and Ianto made their way down a dark Alley clutching Stakes. Something whipped past them in the Dark, the Breeze brushing their Cheeks in it's Wake.

"Was that one?" Ianto whispered, scared.

"Probably," Jack whispered back. "Who's there? Show yourself!" he demanded, holding his Stake aloft.

Three Seconds of Silence went by, then the Vampire pounced on him.

"Get off, you Git!", Jack yelled, trying to find an Opening for his Stake while Ianto watched helplessly. He managed to get the Stake under the Vampire's Arm and pushed hard, the Stake penetrated the Vampire's Flesh and it screamed and collapsed into Dust all over Jack. "Gross!" Jack muttered, brushing the Dust off his Coat.

Ianto helped him up and they continued their Search, rounding the Corner they saw three Vampires standing together.

Jack swore and pulled another Stake out of his Coat Pocket. One of the Vampires snarled, baring it's Teeth at Ianto who threw a Clove of Garlic but missed completely. The Vampire pounced on him, aiming it's Fangs towards his Neck. Jack leapt in and grabbed it's Shoulders, pulling it off of his Boyfriend. The snarling Vampire turned on Jack, Jack shoved the Stake upwards and into the Vampire's Chest, the Vampire collapsed into Dust and Jack leapt to his Feet.

"Anyone else?" he yelled at the two remaining Vampires.

One of them charged for him, the other shot at Ianto, Jack moved as quick as a Lightening Bolt, pulling a Bottle of Holy Water out of his other Pocket. He uncorked it and threw it in the face of the nearest Vampire, the Vampire screamed and collapsed with a melting Face. Jack turned on the other one and slashed his Stake across it's Throat, it crumbled to Dust.

_Later._

Jack pushed Ianto onto their bed and rolled over on top of him. "Okay now, Sweetie?" he asked.

"Mmm," Ianto murmered happily. "I love you, Jack."

"I love you too, Darling," Jack replied and Kissed him. "Do you want to have sex?"

"Have you got any Lube?"

"Erm..," Jack thought for a bit. "We could use some of the Holy Water?"

"That'd work," Ianto agreed, smiling.

Jack removed the Holy Water from the bedside Table, he poured at little on to his Fingers and rubbed it over his Erection.

Ianto rolled over, his bare Buttocks in the air, inviting Jack in.

Jack pushed in slowly so as not to hurt him. "I love you," he whispered, burying himself inside his Boyfriend.

"I love you too, Jack," Ianto moaned happily.

Jack gripped Ianto's Waist as he thrust over and over again, Ianto suddenly tightened around Jack as he came. Jack quickly followed with his own screaming Orgasm inside his Boyfriend. They collapsed happily onto the Bed. Jack grabbed the Sheet and pulled it over both of them. They fell asleep peacefully.

_The Next Day._

"So, that's four more down," Jack told the Doctor and Rose. "Your Turn to patrol Tonight, I wonder how many you'll catch?"

"Oh, I'm sure we'll catch at least five," the Doctor grinned cheekily.

"Wanna bet?" Jack challenged.

"Sure, why not?" the Doctor replied, "if we beat you..,"

He didn't get to finish his Sentence. Every Window in the Place shattered as the Vampire Hoarde made themselves known, bursting in through every Window and Door simultanuosly, there must have been at least a Hundred of them.

Jack grabbed a Wooden Stake and held it up like a Gun, Ianto hid behind him. Rose grabbed two more and held them up in the Shape of a Cross

The Doctor stepped forward to speak at the same time as the Vampire Leader stepped forward.

"Good Evening," she said.

"Good Evening, Ms....?" The Doctor replied, politely.

"Moonshine. Crysta Ebony Moonshine," she introduced herself.

"Pleased to meet you. I'm The Doctor."

"Hello, Doctor," she smiled. "I'm here to kill you all."

"Why?" demanded Rose.

"Because that's what we do," the Vampire explained. She moved forwards, her hair briefly glowing with gold glitter as she passed under the Lamp and bared her shimmering Fangs at the Doctor.

"Oh, really?" The Doctor replied, politely as he looked around for a weapon.

Two Vampires suddenly pounced, moving with superhuman speed and leapt on Rose.

"Rose, No!" the Doctor screamed and leapt in with a Stake he grabbed from Jack's Desk.

Crysta giggled wildly as she watched the Doctor stabbing Vampires Left and Right, then stopped laughing as she realised he was winning.

"Leave them, Doctor", she demanded. "If you want to fight, fight me!"

"Glad to," the Doctor replied. He stepped forward, his Stake held aloft.

Crysta licked her scarlet Lips and bared her gleaming Fangs. She pounced on him, aiming her Fangs towards his Neck. The Doctor shoved the Stake upwards towards the Vampire's Heart but missed, her Fangs scraped his Neck but didn't penetrate. The Doctor shoved her off and held up the Stake threatingly.

"You don't really want to stab me do you Doctor?" Crysta smiled, looking sweet again.

"Doctor!" Rose warned him.

"Get out!" The Doctor told her.

"Bye bye for now," Crysta smiled and vanished through the Window.

Jack (who had been dealing with the others) stabbed the last Vampire and looked around at the state of the Office.

"What a mess," Ianto said sadly, also looking round the Office which was covered in Dust and broken Glass.

"Rose, I don't want to sound rude but have you put on weight recently?" The Doctor asked carefully.

"Not quite," smiled Rose, looking very happy. "I've got to tell you Something, Doctor."

"What sort of Something?"

Rose proudly patted her Stomach, "I'm pregnant," she smiled.

The Doctor looked horrified, "You can't be, it's not the right time with these Monsters around."

"What do you mean?" asked Rose, looking upset.

"It's too dangerous for you to be pregnant," The Doctor yelled. "There's Vampires everywhere. They'll kill you and the Baby,"

"I'd thought you'd be happy," screamed Rose and ran away sobbing.

**End of the Chapter. I want reviews!!!**


	4. Chapter Four

**DISCLAIMER: I do not own Doctor Who or Anyone in it, except Crysta (she dies in this Chapter because I couldn't think of anything to use her for in Chapter Five).**

**Thanks to Everyone who read the last Chapter. Here is the next Chapter, Martha is in it. **

**Please Review this time. I don't have enough Reviews!**

Rose sat sadly on her Bed, running her Hands over her swollen Stomach. Tears slowly ran down her face and dripped into her T-Shirt, she was wearing the blue one with a smiling Pikachu on it.

"I thought he'd be happy," she said sadly to the Baby.

The Baby kicked, making Rose smile. "You've still got me," she promised.

A Sound made Rose look up, Crysta Ebony Moonshine had climbed in through the Window, she stood watching Rose, her skin sparkling in the Rays from the setting Sun.

"Hello Sweetie, what's your Name?"

"Rose," said Rose, trying to stay calm.

"Rose, pretty little Rosebud," sniggered Crysta and licked her shiny fangs. "You'll make a tasty Snack."

"You can't bite me, I'm pregnant," Rose protested.

"I can see that," Crysta grinned, poking a long red-nailed Finger into Roses's plump Stomach. "You're right, I can't bite you in that case."

Rose sighed with relief.

"Only joking! Of course I can!"

She opened her scarlet Lips as wide as she could, her blue Eye turned red and her green Eye turned yellow as a low Growl came from deep in her Throat and her Fangs gleamed in the light.

Rose screamed.

Jack and the Doctor burst in through the Door.

"Get away from her," roared the Doctor.

Crysta ran towards him at the speed of Light, screeching like a Bat. The Doctor grabbed a Stake from Jack's Belt and held it straight out in front of him, Crysta didn't stop in time and ran right onto it, impaling herself.

"Ouch," Jack remarked.

Crysta collapsed to the Floor, holding her Chest, Blood oozed from between her Ribs and soaked into her shiny, silver Dress. Her Eyes went back to their normal colour and her Fangs shrank back to Human Teeth. She pulled out the Stake and tossed it into the Corner. "Damn," she muttered.

"Who are you working for for?" Jack demanded.

"The head Vampire, the Master," Crysta choked out as she died.

"So it's him who's behind all this," the Doctor realised. "Of course, everything makes sense now!"

"Care to share it with the rest of us?" Jack asked.

"Vampires come from the same Planet as Timelords," the Doctor explained. "The Master must have been bitten back at Home and become a Vampire. And ever since he arrived on Earth, he's been biting people and spreading the Vampireism."

"So where did she come from?" Jack asked (meaning Crysta).

"He must have brought her from your Planet," suggested Rose. "Perhaps she was the original Vampire who bit him."

"Probably," the Doctor agreed. "Now what do we ...,"

He was cut off when the Door flew open and the Master strode in, dressed like a Vampire in black Clothes and a leather Coat with Chains attached to his Trousers. He had been hiding outside waiting for Crysta to come back.

"What happened to my Crysta?" The Master demanded. "I heard her screaming."

"She's dead," the Doctor told him.

Jack pointed to the pile of Dust on the Floor.

"I can see that, what happened to her?"

"Good old Wooden Stake," the Doctor shrugged.

"I see," the Master replied. "And you were the one holding it?"

"She was trying to bite Rose."

The Master looked at him and took a deep Breath, he opened his Mouth as wide as he could, his Eyes turned red as a low Growl came from deep in his Throat and his Fangs gleamed in the light.

"Doctor!" screamed Rose.

The Doctor dropped to the Ground and rolled out of the Way, he grabbed the Stake from the Corner that Crysta had thrown away and leapt up holding it out.

The Master grabbed Rose and pressed his Fangs warningly against her Neck, "drop it!"

The Doctor dropped the Stake and stood still with his Hands up.

The Master smiled, then spun around and leapt out of the Window, taking Rose with him.

The Doctor ran to the Window and leaned out as far as he could balance, there was no sign of the Master or Rose, he swore and thumped the Windowsill.

_Later._

"So where did he take her?" asked Ianto.

"We don't know," Jack shrugged. "Possibly back to his Lair but we don't know where that is."

"Why does he want Rose anyway?"

"Vampires need a Mate and now his first one is dead, he's looking for a Replacement." The Doctor explained.

"But why Rose?" Ianto asked, puzzled.

"Just to annoy me, I guess," the Doctor shrugged. "The important Thing is we've got to track him down and rescue her before he bites her and we don't know how long we've got."

Just then the Doorbell rang.

"I'll get it," said Jack.

"Hang on," the Doctor warned. "How do you know it's not a Vampire?"

"Be careful, Jack," Ianto agreed.

Jack crept to the Door, Stake at the ready. He grabbed the Handle, twisted it and pulled, the Door flew open.

"Hello, everyone," said the Girl on the Doorstep as Jack lowered his Stake in relief.

"Oh, hi, Martha," the Doctor smiled. "Good to see you again."


	5. Chapter Five

"Hello, Doctor," said Martha. "What are you doing here?"

"Me and Rose came to visit Jack. What are you doing here?" The Doctor asked.

"I work for Torchwood now," Martha said, surprised to hear that he didn't know. "Didn't Jack tell you?"

"I forgot to mention it," Jack admitted. "Hey, Martha. Did you have a good Trip?"

"It was a bit dull actually," Martha told him. "I've got to used to amazing Things going on all the Time. So, what's been happening while I was away?"

"Cardiff's been invaded by Vampires, we've been fighting them all week," Jack grinned. "Typical, eh? You go away and miss it all."

"Yes, and Rose has been abducted," the Doctor reminded him, sharply.

"Has she?" Martha looked worried. "By Vampires, you mean?"

"By the Head Vampire," the Doctor told her. "The Master, remember him?"

"Yes, of course" Martha looked puzzled. "I had no idea he was a Vampire."

"Me neither," the Doctor shrugged. "But the important Thing is saving Rose."

Martha sat down at her Desk and drummed her Fingers thoughtfully on the Surface, "where is he likely to be hiding?" she asked the Doctor.

The Doctor tried to think of a List of Places someone like the Master might hide but Martha cut him off. "What's this?" she demanded and held up a small black Camera.

"Where'd you find that?" asked Jack as he examined it.

"On my Desk."

"Looks like a surviellance Camera," Ianto pointed out. "Whose is it?"

"It's nothing to do with us, someone's planted it here. We're being spied on," Jack figured out.

"Let me see," said the Doctor. He examined it and scanned it with his Sonic Screwdriver. "I bet it's the Master's, if I can trace the signal we can find out where it's transmitting to and follow it to his hideout - wherever that is!" He shouted excitedly.

_Later. (At the Master's Castle)._

Rose was sitting miserably on the Floor, chained to the Master's Throne. He'd dressed her in a purple Dress made of some shimmering, glittering Fabric with golden Edging and a gold matching Headress and Necklace, she looked like a Priestess but didn't feel happy at all. She ran her Hands over her Stomach and wondered what the Master meant to do to her and her Baby and where the Doctor was.

"Rose," the Doctor frantically hissed through the Window.

Rose heard him and looked up towards the Source of his Voice. "Doctor," she waved happily. The Doctor, Jack, Ianto and Martha all waved back.

"Came to save you," the Doctor grinned. "Hang on a minute while we get inside."

The Team prised the Window open as far as it would go and wriggled through the Gap.

"That Window needs oiling," Jack grunted.

Rose tried to run towards her Friends but the Chain wouldn't let her.

"Hold on," The Doctor grinned and pulled out his Sonic Screwdriver to cut through Rose's Chains. Rose threw herself at him and they hugged.

"Ah, Doctor," said the Master from the Doorway. "So good to see you."

"Hey, Master," the Doctor shouted. He pushed Rose to the side out of harm's way and held up a wooden Stake "come and get some!"

The Master laughed and pounced at the speed of Light, he hit the Doctor in the middle of the Chest and they both smashed through the Window and fell to the Ground a hundred Metres below.

"DOCTOR!" screamed Rose.

Martha ran to the Window and gazed outside, searching for the Doctor but it was too dark for her to see Anything.

The Master silently rose vertically through the Air until he was face to face with her. Martha leapt Backwards in Shock as he stepped forward through the broken Window.

"That's him out of the Way," the Master smiled evily. "Now where were we?"

Martha pulled out a wooden Stake. The Master laughed and leapt over her Head to land safely across the Room. "Put that away, you silly Girl."

Jack stepped towards the Window, the full Moon was shining proudly through the Glass, Jack's Eyes flashed yellow and a low Growl rolled from his Throat. His Face stretched out, growing into a enlongated Snout, grey Fur sprouted from all across his Body, long white Claws sprung from his Fingertips and his Clothes tore as he struggled out of them.

"Werewolf..," the Master whispered, shocked.

Jack turned to face him and growled again, then pounced on him at the speed of Light and bit his Head off with a loud crunching Noise.

Rose collapsed, grasping at the Curtains with one Hand and panting.

"She's in Labour," Martha shouted.

Jack moved away from the broken Window and out of the shimmering Moonbeam where he slowly transformed back into himself. "That was gross," he muttered, wiping his Mouth on the Back of his Hand.

"Put some clothes on?" Martha advised.

_Later. (Back at Torchwood)._

Jack, Martha and Ianto helped Rose to get onto a Bed and tug her Clothes off. Martha bathed her Forehead with a damp Cloth.

"Where's the Doctor," Rose gasped.

"We don't know where he is," Martha said worriedly.

Rose screamed and gripped the Bedrails.

"Start pushing, Rose," Martha told her and gripped her Hand.

_Later._

Rose sat on the Bed, dressed in her normal Clothes again and holding her new Baby who was wrapped in a white Sheet.

"What are you going to call him?" Martha asked.

"I was thinking "Jack"," Rose smiled.

"Awww," Jack replied, looking pleased. "That's really...,"

He didn't get to finish his Sentence. Every Window in the Place shattered as the Vampire Hoarde made themselves known, bursting in through every Window and Door simultanuosly, there must have been at least a Hundred of them.

Jack shoved Ianto behind him as he gazed around at the Vampires surrounding them on all Sides. "There's too many of them, we can't fight them all. RUN!"

Everyone headed for the Door, outside they were confronted by more Vampires. Jack pulled everyone into an alley and blocked it from Vampire access by pouring Holy Water and Garlic across the Entrance.

"There's at least a Hundred Vampires now and possibly more, we'll have to start a serious Vampire Hunting team, find more people to get involved, give out Leaflets, that sort of Thing."

He turned to Ianto, "it's just you and me now, Rose can't stay and fight Vampires, she has a baby to look after."

"There's me as well," Martha offered.

"Thanks, but someone has to look after Rose and the Baby. That should be you, you're the Doctor around here," Jack pointed out. "Now, let's get to the TARDIS. Ready? GO!"

Everyone ran to where the TARDIS was parked and stopped dead, Vampires surrounded it on all Sides, snarling at the Intruders with dripping Fangs.

Rose clasped her Baby to her Chest as she gazed around helplessly, Martha gripped her wooden Stake.

"Leave them to me!" Jack shouted and sprang into the Light of the full Moon, his Eyes flashed yellow and a low Growl rolled from his Throat. His Face stretched out, growing into a enlongated Snout, grey Fur sprouted from all across his Body, long white Claws sprung from his Fingertips and his Clothes tore as he struggled out of them.

"Martha, take Rose and the Baby and get out of Here, take the TARDIS and just go. Anywhere, it doesn't matter, just as far away from Here as possible. Ianto shouted as he watched his Boyfriend tearing into Vampires left and right.

"Come on, Rose. You're coming with me." Martha grabbed her Arm and they ran for the TARDIS.

Jack sprang away and changed back into a Human as the rest of the Vampires scattered into the night Air, he tugged his Clothes back on and hugged Ianto, they stood watching as the TARDIS flickered and vanished taking Rose, Martha and the Baby away to safety.

"Feeling alright, Sweetie?" Jack asked.

Ianto nodded and smiled.

Jack flipped a Stake out of his Waistband, "then let's go kill some Vampires."

THE END.


	6. Chapter Six

Okay, Ladies and Gentlemen. What you have just read is a five chapter example of how a fic should not be written.

Any mistakes in this fic were put there deliberately. For a start, every noun (except a few I'd missed) began with a capital letter, this is wrong. Only proper nouns (people's names, place names etc) should be capitalised, words like "tea" and "sugar" and "table" should not.

That was a test to see if anyone would point it out.

Only one person did (thank you, Rara Saryn), either nobody else noticed it or they did notice and thought that it wasn't worth mentioning. Shame on you in either case.

There were a few minor spelling errors too, not because I misspelled words on purpose but because I didn't bother to correct them, checking for spelling errors is something bad writers tend not to do.

There is no excuse for that these days, if your word processor does not have a spellchecker there are free ones on-line that you can use, this site even provides one. Not putting in the effort to use it simply makes it look as though you don't care about your writing and you don't want anybody to think that, do you?

Then there's the pace of the whole fic, it was far too rushed; too much happened in too little time, too many quick fights and problems solved very easily and very little description (except for where there was too much).

Now onto the main faults with the storyline:

Jack is a werewolf, where the hell did that come from? I must have just pulled that out of you-know-where, right?

No, actually. I had planned it from the beginning but I deliberately wrote it as if I had conjured it up at the last minute, as a bad writer would have. A good writer would not only have planned it out but also put some form of foreshadowing in earlier chapters, maybe Jack hiding from the full moon or even being concerned that he may have bitten Ianto during rough sex.

This is one important thing to remember in your writing, never make it up as you go along. If you get a new good idea part way through writing, it's always worth going back over what you've already got and seeing if you can work it in rather than have a random event occurring.

Rose's pregnancy could only have been written by someone who doesn't know jack about pregnancy and couldn't be arsed to look anything up. The timeline, for example; a healthy pregnancy should last nine months, Rose went from the early stages of pregnancy to giving birth in five chapters which seemed to take place over a few days. Other than the pregnancy, there was nothing to suggest that the better part of a year went past throughout the fic, in fact very little got done if it did. This is a good example of sloppy writing.

The Jack/Ianto sex scene was far too quick and not at all sexy (as a slash fan, it was painful to write) and also revealed a lack of knowledge or research on the author's part, how the hell can you use water (Holy or otherwise) as a lubricant? It doesn't work like that. A good rule to remember is, if it doesn't require soap to wash it away, it won't work as lube.

And whilst we're on the topic, why was Ianto so useless? He was a complete liability who needed Jack to hold his hand for everything, although he can look after himself alright in the actual programme. This is character assassination for the sake of writing a Seme/Uke relationship and those type of relationships are yet another trademark of a bad fic, they rarely if ever exist in the real world. No one is saying you should only write what really exists (there'd be no fantasy and little sci-fi in that case) but relationships between your characters are one thing that should always be kept realistic for the sake of good writing.

Besides, if he was so much of a liability then why would Jack even bother to bring him along?

The first chapter contained another common problem in badfics, Rose's outfit, almost five lines of text were utilised to describe what Rose was wearing.

Why? What purpose does that serve in the story?

You should never put any detail into description of your character's clothes unless it's going to be relevant to the plot, otherwise you will bore your readers and make yourself look silly. It's not usually necessary to tell the readers what your character is wearing at all but you can do so if you wish as long as it takes no more than ten words, in this case; "jeans and red t-shirt with her hair tied back" would have been an adequate description that didn't make me look like a poor writer.

What can you say about the Mary-Sue of a Vampire? "Hair glowing with golden glitter", "shimmering fangs", that doesn't even make sense. Thank God she only had a small role.

Not to mention the Master's castle, where the hell did he get a castle from?

Major continuity flaw: in chapter three, Jack killed about a hundred vampires single-handed but in chapter five he considered a hundred vampires to be a worldwide threat.

These were all big flaws with the fic that no reader mentioned. Shame on you all.

Yes, this was a fake fic complete with (mostly) fake author profile to trap you but I hope you found it entertaining.

You may call this fic a Trollfic if you wish but I disagree, trolling is a pointless Internet activity. This exercise did have a point, I hope it may help some younger authors learn a little about what makes good or bad writing in a way they actually found entertaining. If the Internet fics around now are typical of the literacy level of average young teens, then the education system is clearly letting you down badly so other people might as well try.

If anybody would like to learn more about improving your writing, you can do a lot worse than consult the website run by my esteemed associate at WhyGodWhy, The Wandering Critic. Type the name into the search box on this very site for further information.

Also, have a poke around and you may find other fake fics uploaded by other members of the WhyGod site.

Thank you for reading.

Regards, The Author.

P.S.

If you're wondering where the Doctor went after he fell out the window. I don't know, maybe he fell through a wormhole.


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